Passages
by eorocks
Summary: Memories flash through Olivia's mind...a one chapter story about Olivia and Elliot.


Olivia lay still, her mind singularly focused on the pain in her side. She could still see the flash of the late afternoon sun on metal, and feel the bite of the blade as it bit into her skin. She could feel the warmth of her own blood as it spilled over her fingers, and she shivered in the cold as she gasped for air. She barely noticed the piece of wood digging into her back or the way the pile of debris was smothering her. She closed her eyes on the fading light and the shadows in the quickly darkening alley.

 _She felt Elliot's fingers dance lightly down her spine, until he flattened his palm on the small of her back. It felt warm against her bare skin. She had her face turned away from him, her head resting on her folded arms, but she could feel the intensity of his stare. He trailed his fingers up the dip in her spine, and when his lips pressed lightly against her bare shoulder, goosebumps broke out along her skin._

" _I need to sleep." She mumbled, unable to keep the smile off her face._

" _I'm not doing anything." Came his whispered reply, and she could imagine the look of mock innocence on his face._

 _She shivered at his touch. The sweat was drying on her skin, despite the humidity this August had brought. The late afternoon sun was sending shadows through the messily drawn curtains, and the fan was blowing ineffectively as Elliot continued to press gentle kisses on her shoulder and the back of her arm._

 _This was exactly how a lazy Sunday afternoon should be spent…_

Olivia opened her eyes…her consciousness somewhere between waking and sleep. She shook the remnants of the memory from her mind, trying to focus on the here and now. The alley was darker now, and she wondered how long she'd been lying here. She tried moving her legs, but the pain sliced through her, and she felt a fresh rush of blood on her hand. Her stomach roiled, and she thought she might be sick.

She closed her eyes again, willing herself to stay calm. She imagined Elliot and the others wandering quietly through the large maze of the abandoned warehouse, and she remembered Elliot's demand to stay paired up. But she'd heard something and had followed her gut. She had whispered Fin's name, but he was way ahead of her, and she had gone in the opposite direction without another thought.

She wondered if they'd all reconnected yet…if they had noticed she was missing.

" _I missed you." Elliot whispered, and she closed her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the forehead._

" _Rough night?"_

" _Every case gets a little harder." Elliot lifted her legs and sat down on the couch next to her, settling her legs on his lap. He massaged her calves through her leggings, and then looked over at her. "I'm tired Liv." He said quietly. "It's just not the same."_

 _She gave him a small smile…a look of understanding. "We knew it would be an adjustment." She reached out to him with her hand and Elliot tangled his fingers with hers._

" _Do you ever think…" Elliot sighed. "Maybe it's time for a fresh start." It ended as a statement, not a question. He looked over at her with such hopefulness in his eyes. "We should get out of this city…leave all this behind. Just you and me."_

 _The thought of it shocked her; she was already adjusting to having this relationship with Elliot. A public one at that. Something she'd never imagined would happen. But she could tell he had been thinking about it for a while._

 _Before she could say anything, Elliot lifted their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed her fingers. "Promise me you'll think about it."_

"Elliot." She tried yelling his name, but it came out as a whisper. Her strength was waning, and she was cold. So cold. She shifted her legs again, and this time, she didn't bite back the scream that ripped from her lungs. The sound of it echoed off the brick walls of the alley, and panic started to set in. She knew she had to do something. Move…scream…fight.

Her radio. She had forgotten about her radio. She could call for help.

She realized it had been silent…there was no soft static hiss…and it made her think that the squad was still on the hunt for their suspect. _Radio silence_. They didn't know that Olivia had tracked him down. That she had found him hiding in the alley…that he had taken off after stabbing her and shoving her hard into the wall.

She lifted her hand from the wound at her side, and it was sticky and stiff from both fresh and dried blood. It was so dark that she couldn't even see it, and she cried out in pain as she reached down to her right hip in search of her radio.

It wasn't there, and she panicked as she felt desperately in the spot it should be. She cried out in anguish as she stretched out her arm, dragging it through the debris she was trapped in. Her fingers tore at plastic bags and bits of cardboard until she felt something sharp bite into her hand. She pulled back quickly, causing a fresh wave of pain and nausea to rock her body.

She lifted her hand to her face, and blood from a fresh wound dripped onto her face. She gripped the wound on her side with her left hand, and bit back the pain as she reached out with her wounded right hand and kept digging for her radio. Suddenly, the pile shifted beneath her and she slid down on her side, screaming out as white, hot pain consumed her.

" _Are we really doing this?" She looked up at Elliot from where she was perched with her back against the couch. She had her legs pretzeled in front of her, and a pile of paperwork between them._

 _Elliot held a pen in his hand, and he grinned at her. "We're doing this."_

" _Cragen's not going to believe it…" She said, feeling a stab of guilt. But she couldn't hide the giddiness in her voice._

" _That's why were giving him plenty of notice." He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "We just have to fill out these forms. And then baby, it's you and me."_

" _Hmmm." Olivia smiled mischievously. "I like the sound of that." She leaned in slightly, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. "Tell me what we're going to do after we retire." She said breathily._

 _Elliot lifted one eyebrow, loving the tease in her voice. "First of all, we're going to sleep in."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _No more waking up at 2AM and getting called to a crime scene. No more getting into the station at 8AM."_

" _Sounds wonderful." She hummed. "And then what?" She leaned in, falling on her hands as she eyed his lips._

" _And then I'm going to pull you close, and kiss you."_

 _She crawled over towards him, the sound of paper crunching beneath her hands and knees. "Like this?" She pressed her mouth against his, and he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and opened her mouth to him. She felt the pang in her lower belly immediately, and she slipped her tongue into his mouth._

 _He released her mouth with a loud pop. "And then I'm going to make love to you." He whispered against her mouth. She climbed into his lap, straddling him, and he slid his hands down over her ass, pulling her tightly against him. "I'm going to make you come…over and over again…until you can't remember your own name."_

 _She dropped her head back as Elliot kissed her neck, and then he was lowering her onto the floor, papers and all. And he was kissing her hard, and his body was pressed against hers in the most intimate of ways._

" _The papers…"_

 _Elliot ghosted his mouth over hers. "One more day won't hurt…we have the rest of our lives."_

Olivia came to, and she heard a strange, keening sound. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from her. She knew she must have lost consciousness again. She looked around…but couldn't see a thing. The darkness in the alley was all-consuming; whatever lights may have been out here, had burned out long ago. She had no idea how long she'd been lying here, but the crisp fall day had turned into a cold evening, and she was shivering. She could hear the remote sound of traffic, and it taunted her.

She wondered if her squad had realized she was missing yet, and if they had started to look for her. The abandoned warehouse covered city blocks; it was four floors of blocked corridors, rotten flooring and twisted turns. The thought of it made her despair, and she could feel the warmth of tears on her face.

Her entire body felt numb, and she chastised herself for not moving sooner. For not being stronger…for not following Fin…for not listening to Elliot when he told her to take extra care…to be safe.

" _Just a few more days." Elliot said as he snagged her glass of orange juice off the counter. "And then you'll be serving me breakfast in bed."_

 _She laughed. "I think you've got that backwards." She clipped her badge to her belt. "I'll be the one lounging in bed."_

 _Elliot wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, moving his mouth to her ear. "Not going to happen." He teased, biting down lightly on her earlobe. "You'll have to bring me food and water because I'll be too weak." He growled in her ear. "It takes all my energy to keep up with you. You're insatiable."_

 _She laughed and pushed him off her. "You're ridiculous."_

" _What?" he said, adopting a look of surprise. "I have to take extra vitamins. I've been sneaking naps in the cribs."_

 _She shook her head and laughed. "It seems to me that_ you're _the one that woke_ me _up in the middle of the night." She cocked an eyebrow at him as she turned and started to walk away._

 _Elliot grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back up against his chest. He buried his face in her hair. "Okay, okay. But you're so damn irresistible. Maybe we'll both die of starvation. But what a way to go."_

She could see his face now, feel the warmth of his lips against her skin, and she wondered if she was hallucinating. She tried once again to move, but her body wasn't cooperating with her mind. She gritted her teeth together and reached out, willing her body to move. But she only succeeded in sliding further down. She grunted in pain as her face connected with the cold pavement. She closed her eyes, trying to muster up the strength to fight the darkness that was threatening to overtake her.

She felt her eyes slip shut, even though her mind was screaming at her not to give in. She fought to open her eyes, but they were mere slits. She could hear the sounds of the city; the sounds that had been her lullaby as a baby and would be the notes that marked her death.

Because she knew in that moment that she wouldn't make it out of this alley.

She couldn't fight the darkness any longer and she closed her eyes in resignation. She felt like she was floating now…and the pain was gone. She wondered what would happen after…if the God and Heaven that Elliot believed in so strongly really did exist. Maybe the voices she heard were angels. She thought about Elliot, and even though she wasn't sure what she really believed, she prayed that his God would help him get through this.

 _I'm sorry._

The words echoed in her mind, over and over again. She was suddenly warm…and overwhelmed with the brightest of lights. She thought that Elliot had been right. There was a Heaven…a place of warmth and light.

I have to tell him.

He was right. He had been right all along.

She could hear him now, repeating her name. And it seemed only right that his voice was with her now. She would carry a piece of him with her always, and she wondered if it would always be like this, or if the memory of him would fade with time. Did time even exist?

"Olivia."

There was a sudden intensity as all her senses came back in a rush. She felt the pain that was wracking her body, the cold that had pervaded every cell, the intensity of bright lights and sound, and the warmth of tears on her face.

She opened her eyes, scarcely able to take it all in. She was overwhelmed…confused. She didn't know where she was but could feel people around her…moving her…poking her…causing fresh waves of pain.

But in the next second, her eyes focused on Elliot's. His face was hovering over hers, and it was his tears that were wetting her cheeks.

"Olivia." His voice was etched with pain.

She tried to swallow…to find her voice…still unsure if this was a dream or reality. She tried to focus on his eyes, and on the way he kept repeating her name, until she found the strength to whisper. "I love you."

She felt Elliot take her hand. "This isn't the end Liv. Stay with me…everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

Olivia closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

 _AN: I purposefully ended this story here. You can choose the ending. For me personally, Olivia makes it through. Of course she does, because there is no Elliot without Olivia, and vice versa. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
